Am I too emotional?

I’m not meaning to actually ask you that. Although if you replied then I’d be intrigued into your answer.

My interest is in people referring to others as ‘too emotional’.

What does that even mean?

As an individual I’m incredibly caring, compassionate and put others before myself. A side affect of that is I’m often referred to by many different people as too emotional. And here’s why I struggle with that label, if I may.

The idea that you can be ‘too’ in touch with your emotions is just absolutely ridiculous. I’m not saying that just because I’m pro self-expression, i’m saying that because we’re all emotional beings. We’re all human and experience emotion, locking it away doesn’t change that fundamental part of us. Some of us have been brought up to show our emotions more openly, others have been taught to keep them in check, or to release behind closed doors. All of these ways of expressions are absolutely OK. As long as you’re not holding back for society. Because that’s the thing. When you hear people suggesting someone is ‘too’ loud, or ‘too’ fat or ‘too’ emotional, what you’re actually hearing is what society wants you to be, not what you are.

And it really bothers me. Mostly because even I, knowing the reality and rational of this idea, still listen to the words of others as if they should make up, add or remove any characteristic or part of who I really am. I listen to others to decide about myself. Still. And I’m really not OK with that, but I wasn’t quite sure how to tackle it.

So I started listening more. To peoples words, to their comments and their actions. And what I saw was who they believed themselves to be. And I took a second. Do I know who I am? I guess if I feel as though someone else saying I’m too emotional could be any part of who I am then maybe I don’t. Or maybe I’m just not entirely sure.

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And that’s how these comments make people feel. Unsure of themselves, doubtful of their abilities and scared of more criticism.

Nobody is ‘too’ emotional. You’re emotional, maybe. But most emotional people I know are bloody brilliant people and they’d make my top 10 people in life.

As soon as someone tells you that you’re ‘too’ something, reject it back. Ask yourself: why does their idea of who you should be seem more important than your own?

Time to focus on feeling good, and that means telling yourself you’re great. So often, and in so many ways that the words of others don’t cut you like a knife, they glide off your skin like old sandpaper, and you can breathe a little easier.

 

Love, Am X

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