Lessons learnt for 2018

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Hello everyone. 2017 was not a great year for me in many ways, but it also brought some great times too. I’ve learnt a lot about who I am and what life can throw at you in 2018 and thought I’d share some thoughts with you below:

Money & things don’t matter — they’re nice, but they don’t really matter

I’ve never been a materialistic person, ever. Growing up we didn’t have much and so I’ve never been in an environment where material things mattered, but as I’ve gotten older and bought myself things and been given luxurious gifts I’ve gotten attached to some luxuries. I enjoy luxuries, I enjoy that I can now afford them, I feel lucky to be able to have them. But they don’t actually matter. If they were removed from me tomorrow… sure, I’d be peeved. But it wouldn’t cause me emotional pain, it wouldn’t make my stomach cramp with sickness and fear. It wouldn’t keep me up at night with stress and exhaustion because everything feels so out of control. I’d just get annoyed at the waste of money and subsequent hard work that got me that thing.

If you’ve got your health, you’re rich

Never take your health for granted. It’s the one thing that can make everything else irrelevant. We take our health for granted, until it’s under threat. We focus on all the wrong things, the things that bring us gluttony and short-term happiness; it’s the world these days. There’s no shame in it, but it won’t be any use when your health isn’t great. I am going into 2018 with a new awareness of my health. Listening to my body more when it needs to move, or when I need to give it more nutrition is really important.

Watch who claps when you win

This is one of my biggest lessons. I’m highly ambitious, in many ways, and love to achieve. Sometimes that can be a huge part of my life, sometimes not. Either way, I like to win and failing doesn’t sit very well with me. When you’re winning at something in your life, and a person around you doesn’t clap for you, that’s the world telling you something. That’s the world saying look around you. Check who is clapping, check who is saying well done, make sure you’re being supported because you absolutely always deserve to be supported. Jealousy will sit in those who feel they can’t match you. Take it as a compliment, you’re hard to match 😉

 

When things get bad, notice who are standing with you

2018 brought a lot of pain, I’ve never cried or felt as low as I did last year. It hit me like a train coming out of nowhere and sent me into all the worst emotions I didn’t even really know were possible. I learnt many coping mechanisms, and one of which was who I could rely on. I’ve never been surer of those who I can call when things get very hard, I’ve never been more clear on who gets me and loves me. Sometimes it can be the hardest times that bring the most light to things you didn’t even know were in the dark.

What you give, you may not get back… ever

The hardest daily lesson for me for the past decade I think. I’m not talking about gifts here, or money. I’m talking about emotional time, conversation, effort, kindness, compassion, time, love, affection. All the meaningful things that you give to other people, you may not receive in return. It’s worth coming to terms with that, and letting it go. “I bothered with them, they haven’t bothered for ages”. Let that shit go. It’s not personal, it never usually is. We’re such a selfish group of people in this world, but we’re also full of love. Sometimes the self is put first and that’s got to be OK with us, because it’s happening everyday. The key is to stop taking things personally. When you hear someone say something about you, or maybe you feel like it’s about you and it’s negative… does it matter? Does what that person is saying actually matter? You know who you are and you can’t and shouldn’t try to control what others think or say about you. Why would you? Would you really want every single person to say “Look how wonderful ___ is!” — no, because you’re not perfect and that wouldn’t be real. We’re all so different, and thats the beauty of it.

I have come to accept that lots of people won’t like me or may feel negative about me, and that’s not my problem. It’s got nothing to do with me, it’s none of my business. If they choose to focus on my negatives, that’s because they’re choosing to be without me in their lives in some way, and I’m OK with that; they are choosing that life.

Why would you want somebody around you that doesn’t show you love & support? What an absolute waste of our very very short and amazing lives.

 

Love doesn’t conquer everything, but being with the right person will

IMG_3465Lastly, I have to mention my bloody incredible boyfriend. This year hit me like a ton of bricks at times, and the entire time I felt loved, supported and protected by him. He has an internal strength that I both admire and envy. He is able to see the beauty where there is a lot of pain, the love where there is rejection, the heart where there is selfishness. When my mental health has been attacked, he has protected my sanity. When I couldn’t focus on joy from my pain, he enabled me to take time to process my pain so I could feel joy again. He is my strength when I can’t muster any, he is my rock and I couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend in any way; he brings so much joy and compassion into my life and makes me feel like I can take over the world and achieve whatever I dream. I hope I can provide anywhere near the same things for him in 2018. Also, Monkey & Lou are like a happiness pill. I advise adopting cats, always.

Love, Am xXx

 

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