reflect the best parts of me.
I have sat on the bottom of a pit and let the light flood around
me not moving to dance with it.
I have kept secret words in my mouth, and pushed them
to the back.
I have laughed along with those who do not see
any of this any of me.
I have forgiven the actions when they seem so sad
just to define me.
I have kept reactions in a small box and taped them up with bows
so they look more like me.
I have scratched the surface of my thoughts with a spoon,
as I can’t bear to hear them.
I have been present in places that I felt were safe so I didn’t have to work to hear them.
But most of all,
I have accepted,
Behaviours and words
As part of me, and most of me, and almost all of me,
To satisfy the seeking of me before it is replaced by an apology
One I can’t sustain, or name, or detain
As anything other than a game I play. With myself
And all of you, if I were to be the one of a few
Of myself that I created to dance in the pit with you all
So I wouldn’t easily fall and pull some of you down
The ones that want to drown, a little bit with me, because then it’s easy
And we all wouldn’t have to take much responsibility.
And nobody would be able to see,
Who I really am, if I am not being me.